Friday, December 30, 2011


Not the title you were prepared for, huh? Nope. Me either. Writing is funny like that. I was thinking of writing something completely different tonight. Something I had pictures of. Something to tell a story of something I had done with my family (visiting the Science Museum, which will be a later post). But, no.

Tonight I finished watching a special that was on Lifetime in October called "Five." I know, Lifetime-but it's the channel "Project Runway" is on! Anyway, it was a movie of sorts about 5 women (fictitious) and their story about breast cancer. I had saved the movie on our DVR, knowing that some night when J was gone, I would get around to watching it. I wanted to watch it, but had to be in the right frame of mind. Not the casual sort or the "eh" sort, but the I'm-ok-with-crying-if-it-happens mood. You know? Tonight was one of those nights.

And it happened. I cried. Not until the VERY end of the montage of stories. I made it through until the ending music was playing and they panned away from the last scene. I'm not sure what it was: the husband with his 7 year old daughter, but no wife; the kiss the oncologist placed on her "five-year tile," I know what it was! own thoughts. Ding! Ding! Ding! Yes, it hit me. Not that I don't think about it often, because I do. But it was that whole five-year date. See, mom hit her 6 YEAR survival date this December 19th. Last year we whooped it up, because 5 years is a huge milestone. But I also think 6 years is a huge milestone. Every year is a milestone when you're talking cancer. In the movie, it really was the part when the oncologist kissed her 5-year survival tile. Because that's us. We had our "kiss the tile" ceremony last year. And the truth of it is, I have my own little party for my mom every time I see her. She doesn't know this, but she will after reading this. Hi Mom! Love you!

Cancer is an AWFUL word. I hate it. I don't use that word very much, but I do. On the flip side, I LOVE my mom and survival. I love the positive thinking we have and had through the cancer time. I love the prayer that held us all up through that time. Cancer is one of my least favorite words, but beating it is the best thing my mom did we all did...together. Love you, mom!

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