something I don't usually do

I did something I don't usually do today. I donated to something I don't know much about, but felt moved and pulled to donate to. It was in honor of my mom. To combat cancer with LOVE. Because in the end, LOVE WINS.

I was turned on to the Momastery blog by my friend, Lori. She kept posting things from the blog via Facebook and I was pulled in by the words she shared. They were always faith filled, inspirational words that helped move me through my day. This happened probably three or four times before I checked it out myself. Then I "liked" the page and now I get updates as they are posted.

Glennon, the woman behind Momastery is broken. Like all of us are. She shares her flaws. She shares her joys. She shares what most people would hide from anyone they could. Her words are filled with honesty and faith and love. She calls us all WARRIORS. And that's what we are in this world. Carrying on to do what's best for us in this messy life where, above all else, LOVE WINS (her words, not mine, but I might be making them mine now).

I was intrigued by a post she wrote yesterday about a Love Flash Mob. As I read it I thought, "Oh, that sounds nice. What amazing things she's been able to do through her blog/company/non-profit. Then I read today's post and was instantly drawn to the stories that were told. Today's Love Flash Mob was all about helping Mamas with cancer. You understand now, don't you?

So I did something I don't usually do and I donated to complete strangers. I'm usually more of the where-is-my-money-going-to-go kind of person. I mean I kind of know through the stories, but I don't really know. You know?

I donated in honor of my mom. Because I love her. And because I want to honor her. And because I want her to know I think about her all the time. And because I believe LOVE WINS, not cancer. Right, Mom? LOVE ALWAYS WINS. I love you. And thanks, Momastery, for giving us a place to honor those we love, even if it was in a small way today.

on being a mom

Being a mom is

great
wonderful
priceless.

Being a mom is
tiring
hard
time-consuming.

Being a mom is
rewarding
joyous
never-ending.

Being a mom is all of these things wrapped into one. Before I was a mom I don't think I got it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't. I just thought it was the next step. Then came the babies and that "baby stage" that wasn't my favorite either. It was hard. And tiring. And time-consuming. But then things clicked. I "got it."

I began to understand why I was picked to be a mom. I knew because of the sleepless nights. I knew because of the "Mommy!"'s all through the day. I knew because I couldn't go without having joy because of the littlest things my kids did, be it finding dandelions and bringing them to me, be it running to me when they were hurt, or be it the drawings or little notes they left me in the house. Those were the reasons I knew I was picked to "do" this thing called motherhood.

I think about my own mom…all the time…but today more than usual. I think about all she did for me and all she taught me. I think about how I use everything she taught me as I'm trying to be the best mom I can be now. Moms really are right. ALL. THE. TIME. That's what I know about mine. I also know she is strong. She is brave. She is everything I hope to be as I "grow up" to be like her. Because that's what we want to be…just like our moms.

Being a mom is
never what I thought it would be
better than I ever expected it to be
something I am so privileged to be to A & C.

Happy Mommy's Day to everyone!

I'm a lucky girl

Yes, I am. Know why? Because of this guy:

Yes, that guy. Tonight he surprised me with my present for my 35th birthday. Here I was thinking it was a day at the spa (in my dreams!) or an overnight with him to somewhere (I had hinted at Chicago again). But no. He surpassed all of that with something even bigger. Something I NEVER would have thought about.

He said, "Close your eyes. No peeking, Nans style! Ok, open."
I open to see a suitcase.
Ok...we're going somewhere! Sweet!
"Any guesses?"
"Not really. It could be anywhere!"
"Ok, close them again. Now open."
I open and see When Harry Met Sally and Serendipity sitting on top of the suitcase. "No way. New York?!"
"Yes, New York!"
He surprised me with a 4 day trip to New York City.

I'm going here.

And here.

Yes, hopefully here too.

All because of him.

I am one lucky girl!

Sometimes you need a pick-me-up

Some days are like that...

That's what Alexander's mom tells him in the book. I suppose that's true in real life, too. Some days are just like that. It doesn't matter what we do to change them. They just are.

Today wasn't what I would call "horrible." It just was...eh. You know those days-you wake up, sit in a meeting, have some behavior issues (are we really talking about turd, fart, and poop in the classroom?), and then it's just eh. I had my moment of breakdown. That was bound to happen sooner or later. The rest of the day was ok.

Maybe it's because I don't see my family as much with school having started. Maybe it's because, you know, of being a girl. Maybe it's because I'm thinking about my mom and what we will find out this week. I'm not sure. Thank goodness for friends who listen to you. And for husbands that get you ice cream. And for kids who would rather you sleep with them than sleep with their stuffed animal (never has happened in our house, but the idea is nice).

Here's to NOT moving to Australia. Here's to a better day for tomorrow. Knowing that this "eh" kind of day happens to the best of us. Even when we're not prepared.

And it's the end

Well at least for this year.

I got to spend the last 171 days with the group:

This wonderful, amazing, funny, smart, spirit-filled group of kids is what I got to go to work for every morning. Aren't I lucky? I think so too. Some years aren't like that. But this year was. And I am grateful. Forever grateful to have had these kids as students over the last 9 months. Their parents too-for every great year inevitably has great parents supporting me and their child every step of the way.

I love teaching because of them

and them

and them.

Then there's these two

and this group

and this one.

I love them as if they were my own. They are. For about 6 and a half hours a day. I have 22 kids. And I love them dearly. I love what I do. Not many people can say that every day!

I am a mom

I am a mom because of these two.

Because of these two.

Because of these two.

I am a mom because of her.

Because of her.

Because of her.

I am a mom because of him.

Because of him.

Because of him.

I am a mom.

And I love every second of it.

Good or bad.

Happy or sad.

It's who I am today.

And forever.

 ...some photo credit to M Photography...

Words of Wisdom

Even though this friend didn't think they were words of wisdom, they truly are. Sometimes few words help no matter what. This friend is a keeper...love her dearly!

I wish I had some great words if wisdom....instead, it is freakin' scary to have a parent so vulnerable.  We have believed for so long that they are invincible!  I am here for you!

30 Things I'm Thankful For

It's November. You know what that means, right? Yup. It's my birthday month! No? That's not what you were going to say? Right. It's November. That means everyone thinks about what they're thankful for, which is great. But it's a lot of pressure too. That's because there are people out there who are posting their things of thanks daily on Facebook. There are people who are blogging daily about what they're thankful for. I should be able to do it too, right? Wrong. Not this month. 

November is also the month of crazy in our world...the world of teachers. Conferences, benchmarks to meet, not to mention regular every day things. And at home-the ins and outs of "just being"- made it a bit difficult for me to get in the routine of writing daily. Yes, it's an excuse, but it is the truth for me this month. 

So instead of letting the month pass by without acknowledging what is happening tomorrow, I thought I would compile my list of 30 things tonight. So here it goes...in no particular order, of course.

30 Things I'm Thankful For

1. My husband, who loves me more than I can express
2. My house
3. Warm fall days when I can play outside with the kids
4. My kids
5. Moments when my kids are selfless and do things for others without being asked
6. Laughter
7. Ice cream
8. No schedules on the weekend
9. My friends
10. Little boys who love to snuggle
11. Little girls who love to sparkle
12. Mammas and Papas who live close
13. The beach
14. Healthy kids
15. Smiles
16. Shopping
17. Doctors that give you good news!
18. Ours kids' singing voices-both at home and in church
19. Calm-no mater where we are
20. Sparkly things (you know where A gets it from!)
21. Music
22. School-going to school to learn, teaching at school, going to my kids' school-all things school
23. Comfortable shoes
24. Vacations-vacation days, summer vacation, family vacations, couple vacations-all sorts
25. Food
26. Confidence in myself, my kids, my husband, my family
27. The ability to write
28. Flowers
29. My parents who support and love me unconditionally, as only a mom and dad could
30. Jesus

These are my 30 days of thanks, condensed by being written all in one day. But it's not about the way you do it, it's about the fact that I did it. Taking time really think about the things I'm most thankful for-no matter how big or small-taking the time to make my list here and now; it's the best thing I could do today!

A Friend

Sometimes people say friends come and go. Or at least I've heard it said. I'm not sure who said it, but I believe them. Sometimes. But sometimes friends are here to stay. Those are the best kinds of friends.

Tonight I saw one of those friends. She's the kind of friend who will be there always. Like forever. And ever. She'll never go anywhere no matter what happens. She knows everything there is to know about me. Inside and out. I can't lie to her. She can't lie to me. Ever since we connected things have been like this. Starting in middle school, through high school, college, and now into adulthood (never thought I'd use that word), things are the same. Do you have that kind of a friend? Everyone should.

There have been times where we would see each other almost daily or talk on the phone for an hour or two, even after having just been together. And then there are times when we've gone many weeks between talking or seeing each other. Sometimes even months-life happens! But she's that forever friend. The stand by you friend. The I like to hear the good and the bad in life friend. The kind of friend everyone needs.

As an adult-and as an adult with kids-and as an adult with kids who is starting to meet my own kids' friends and their families, sometimes I feel lost. Like I'm stuck. Which way do I go as an adult making new friends? It's weird. To try and make new friends as an adult. But I've realized we're kind of forced to do so. I can't take my high school or college friends with me wherever I go. They can't live right next to me. Their kids can't go to the same school as our kids (although that would be neat!). I have to branch out. And sometimes I feel stuck. Are there other people like me who would want to be my friend? What if we don't get along? I almost feel like I'm back in high school. I try to put on a good face and try my best at making it work. But it's hard! And then I see a forever friend.

Like tonight. Where I can be myself. Ask those personal questions-make sure she's ok, her family is doing well, work is going ok (we didn't even talk about that tonight!)-and just be friends. There's nothing I have to impress her, and the feeling is mutual. We can be ourselves. I can love on her kids and she on mine. And it's easy. I love my forever friends, and nights like this are nights I wish to have much more often.

Off the grid

That's what I am these days. With school starting and all. I have to say, I did a pretty good job of writing this summer-especially through August. Well, be that the middle of August. Then we were at the cabin for a week. We have no internet there, so it was a little difficult to post. So then there was no new writing. There should have been, but there wasn't.

See, even when I don't have a computer in front of me, I should still write. Really. What did we do before computers and email? Handwrite a note. Write in a journal. I've gotten so used to writing so quickly using the computer that actual writing seems a bit laborious. It shouldn't, but it does. So I didn't write. But, hopefully that will all change.

One week of school is done. J's birthday is tomorrow, so there will definitely be something to write about then. I have A LOT of catching up to do from the last few weeks with the cabin, the State Fair, the first day of school...there will be lots for me to write and lots for you to read! So, just be patient. More will come. At least for those of you reading...of which I'm not really sure how many of you there are! But for you and for me-more to come. Soon!

Something new...and definitely unexpected

It's a funny thing to get older. You think you have it figured out: friends, job, likes, dislikes, foods, etc. Then you realize you don't. That happened tonight. It's always interesting to me that at this point in my life I could find someone new that I connect with on so many levels. I mean, really? I have 6 year olds. I've been married for 11 years. I've been teaching for 11 years. Things are pretty solid. But then 2 worlds come together and that all changes.

A new friend at this point in life is kind of beyond me because I always assume everyone else has things set too. Who would want me as a new friend? What do I have to offer anyone that they don't already have? Well, it seems she does like me as a friend and I do have something to offer her just as she has something to offer me. a lot to offer me!

I know this because of many different things-some which are big things and some which are little things: we eat the same things and can share a meal when we go out; our faith values are the same; she grew up where I went to college; she has twins too; what is important to her and her husband with her kids is equally important to J and I with our kids. This is just a short list. If you had been with tonight for our 2 hour dinner, you would have heard many more.

She said something tonight that I knew I would forget, but seemed so profound. Ok, got it: The challenge is to be in this world, not of this world.

Isn't that so true? It's all about living with what you have and with what you like and being ok with it. It's about being present. It's about not trying to keep up with everyone else and loving things as they are. Something I have to remember. It's so easy to get caught up in wanting or thinking you need things to be different-whether it be with a house, a job, the kids and what activities they are doing (or not doing), clothes, trips-the list is unending. Talking with her makes it real. It reminds me of what is most important. Not the things or what's around me, but who I am and what we stand for as parents and as a family. Not worrying about having or wanting the best, but being the best.

See, it's not every day you are reminded of these things. And sometimes it takes a new friend to remind you of that. A new friend that seems like an old friend, which is the best kind of friend to have.

Field Trip Day...through their eyes

Where is she? Where is she? I know she's coming. Just just got me on the bus this morning. I know she's coming along on the field trip. But I don't see her. I'll check the hallway one more time. Nope. Still not here. Again...nope. Where is she? Mommy! You're finally here! I was so worried you weren't coming. I mean I knew you were coming, but I didn't see you and I was worried. I know I'm supposed to be all boy and not worry about things like that, but I do. I'm the worrier of the two of us...A doesn't worry quite as much.

Mommy! Will you sit by me on the bus?! I hope you do. Hold my hand. Ok, shut the door. We don't want anyone in our classroom while we're gone. Did you see the birds right up there? They're making a nest right outside this door. Watch out for them. Maybe there will be babies soon. 

Hi Mommy! I was wondering where you and A were. I saved us a spot, right here on the bus. I love riding the bus with you. I'm going to rest my head on your shoulder the whole way there. Did you see my friend sitting right in front of us? And that's another one of my friends. Remember? And behind us are more of my friends. I'm glad you get to meet them.

Mommy, are you going to be in our group when we get to the Nature Center? I hope so. I think Lydia is in our group too. Here mom is right up there. Did you see her? We're here! We're finally here! That was the longest bus ride ever (5 minutes). 

Good thing we wore our rain boots today, Mommy. It's pretty muddy. Do you see that goose over there? That's a living thing. But this dock we're on, it's non-living. And the metal wire right here? That was never living. Ooo! I see a dead fish! Mom! Ashton and I see a dead fish in the water. Do you see it? It was once living, but isn't anymore. So now it's non-living. 

Look! I found a snail shell! It's non-living. But was the snail inside of it living? I found it right here. I almost dropped it in the water, but I didn't. Can I bring it home? Why? But I really want to. Pu-leeez? Why? Oh, alright. I found it right here on the post. No! You can't bring it home. Because my mom said you have to leave it here.

No, I don't remember being here with you, Mommy. When did we come? Do we have pictures of us being here? I'll have to look at them. I'm going to hold your hand again. Because I love you. So much.

Wait! Wait for me! I'm trying to catch up. Look at this stick! I want to hold the worm. Who has the worm? I want to hold it! Ooo...it's slimy. And wiggly. Here, Lydia. You hold it. This tree is decomposing. It's pretty big! It's raining. I'm hungry. Do you have any food? When is lunch? Where are we eating lunch?

Did you see the little baby turtle, Mommy? It was just this big. Like a quarter. It was only 2 days old! Did you know the 5 year old turtle was the same age as me? Did you know it was a girl turtle because it had a smooth tummy?

Mommy, are you staying for lunch? Oh. I know, but I thought you were staying. That's ok though. I'll sit with my friends. Thank you, Mommy, for coming on the field trip with us. I loved having you with us. I wish you could spend the whole day with us at school. See you when we get home!